Sheer Brilliance – My Halloween Hat

I was gonna do the usual this October 31st – disable the doorbell, sit way inside my house, lights off, fire roaring, a little Mendelssohn playing in the background – when I realized how possibly short-sighted I’ve been all these years.

After all, I could wear a costume – not a Freddy or an Elvis (although the latter’s tempting), but a Sherlock Holmes, a Bogart or an Indiana Jones. Any instantly recognizable character, real or fictional (even if the kids don’t know his name), whose signature look is made by his hat.

Now this is gonna be a TREAT.

Oh, brilliance.

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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The Answer is Hats. What’s the Question?

Another startling statistic from GullibleInfo (my main source of information). It says that of the 5.3 million Americans who enter Canada every year, only 5.12 million return….

The inference is, of course, that the Abominonmibabbleable Snowman is real and snacking in Saskatchewan. I know otherwise – they have some superlative hats and hatmakers up in that vast expanse known as the Great White North, and some of my fellow Americans have discovered that fact. So enamored by the styles, workmanship (and quaint French accents prevalent mostly in Quebec), they simply stay, hooded and hatted in fabulous fur, wearing snowshoes and saying “eh?” a lot.

Vive les chapeaux!

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Enduring Winters With Enduring Head Warming Hats

In northern climes, bright red ears (and matching noses) are a sure sign of mid-autumn. For some, of course, the Rudolph-like nose color might be related to a slight over-indulgence in spiked hot toddies, but…I digress.

Yes, we are now well into the time of year when pumpkins rule, dentists gloat and mothers everywhere mysteriously lose white bedsheets (which inevitably reappear after Trick or Treat, with eyeholes cut out).

You’ll also see wise men in earflaps. It’s true. Real men of every age are staving off the pain of chilled lobes by donning woolen tweed caps with built-in, drop-down earflaps. And why, you might ask? Because we’ve finally learned our lesson: we’ve become SENSITIVE. May not be quite the sensitivity you gals had in mind, but there ya go.

Put that in yer hat and stir it!

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Running After Your Hat

It’s a brilliant, blustery day. You’re prancing down the street as usual, all well with your world. Suddenly a mighty gust grabs your hat.

What to do?

Well, the first thing 94% of us do is take a good look round, to see if anybody witnessed the incident. If no one saw it, the majority will chase down the hat, tug it firmly into place and continue walking (shoulders hunched and head forward into the wind).

Less than half (46%) will run after their hat if somebody saw the wind blow it away. Instead, acting out of embarrassment, s/he will continue walking as though nothing happened – but will keep the hat in sight. Pretending they wanted to cross the street anyway, they follow the hat through yards, over fences and up trees, until they recover it and casually put it back on.

Not one person admitted to just letting the hat go.

That’s either because they’re true hat lovers or just really afraid of me.

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Hit Them With Your Hat

At the wonder-blog known as Creating Passionate Users, co-author of the Head First books Kathy Sierra, has posted another provoking entry called Where to Start.

Although she’s talking about presentations and writing, you can take Ms. Sierra’s lists of What Not To Do and Ideas for Beginnings and apply them to your appearance: the way you look and act, how you make an entrance, a first impression.

For example, curiosity is good (wow, where’d you get that hat?); so is being provocative (a trooper in lavender, eh?); and you can always spice it up with a little drama and intrigue (fedora, fedora, fedora).

Here’s the quote she uses: “Always grab the reader by the throat in the first paragraph, send your thumbs into his windpipe in the second, and hold him against the wall until the tagline.” — Paul O’Neil

And that’s just you in your porkpie!

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Warning: Choose Your Hat The Night Before Or Risk The Wrath

Been taking notes over at wikihow.com again, this time on punctuality.

Had a bit of a to-do with one of those Felix Unger types (yes, mom dearest, that’s you), because I was a few minutes (75) late for a get-together the other day (Sunday family-reunion brunch).

It wasn’t my fault, really – I’d simply forgotten to pick out my hat the night before and that kind of decision, fraught with meaning and good-looks, takes much longer to make under pressure. I am happy to report, though, that my hat was a great success and was given a place of honor at the table. I, on the other hand, was relegated to eat left-overs, in the kitchen.

Thanks for reading,
Steve (Hungry Man) Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Has Something Been Eating Your Hat?

Ah, the pleasures and pain of rediscovering past loves. Yes, I was at it again, in front of the fire, pulling out last year’s collection of winter hats for a happy reunion – it was an emotional time.

Horror ensued, however. A dear friend (who shall remain nameless – unless you ask me nicely, of course) obviously neglected to have his winter hat cleaned before asking me to store it. Naturally the little tineola bisselliella larvae devils (a type of clothes moth that devours wool, leather, feathers, and fur and are particularly damaging to fabric containing the residue of hair oils) had a feast.

Wonder if it would be indelicate of me to mount and display the remains as a warning to others?

Take care of your hats, people.

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Your Chinese Fortune in a Hat

Nothing like a good Chinese Fortune – you know, the kind with the cookies. You can give the ones you don’t like a solid Bronx cheer, and magnify (maybe frame) those that are obviously dead on (“You will be filthy rich very soon.”)

I found a place where they sell fortune cookies in bulk. (It’s a bit like finding out Santa’s elves are really Mattel robotics, but anyhoo). What I do is eat the cookies (did you expect something else?), carefully nibbling around the fortune-imprinted paper, and sort the results.

Here are some examples:

The fortune filed under Sensititve: Appreciate the caring people who surround you.

(used in Hallmark cards, as off-the-cuff but always sage advice, etc.).

Under Insults To People Who Insult Me First: He who throws dirt is losing ground.

(good for responding to bill collectors and waiting for hordes of the envious).

Under Answer To Is This The Right Hat For Me?: Pay attention to your intuition.

(no explanation required here).

Believe in yourself and have a good one!

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer, Mr. Confucius
CEO Hartford York

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What Hat Do You Wear to Amazing Maize Mazes?

I’ve been invited to a farm.

Normally this would have me questioning the quality of the relationship, and I’d be asking loaded questions in an attempt to ascertain ulterior motives, but because our get-together is a annual family event, the invite might actually be on the up and up.

Then comes the crucial question: what hat might be appropriate when lost in the bowels of an extensive system of tunnels and paths? Hopefully, I won’t have another panic attack and need to send up my for-emergency-only bright red helium HELP ME balloon.

No, this year’s harvest event calls for a warm hat that exudes casual elegance and a touch of flippancy. After all, with my hand-drawn reconnaissance map secreted away in the satin lining of my hat, I intend to finally get my hands on that family heirloom: the Field of Ears Champion trophy. And boy will I look good on the podium. In my Leland hat.

Wish me luck.
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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Today’s Overwhelmingly Important Hat Question

Innocent though it may be, the query “Who wears the pants in your house?” is liable to get you a filthy look, if not a very dirty sock in the nose.

If, however, you ask “Who wears the hats in your house?”, you’re more likely to wind up actually engaged in pleasant conversation, perhaps accompanied by coffee and pie, and even – if you’re particularly fortunate – an impromptu fashion show.

The world of the haberdasher is a peaceful one: with egalitarianism its basis especially with respect to gender and wealth. There is no power struggle between hat-wearers.

Geez, I’m so laid back right now, I’m horizontal.

Thanks for reading,
Steve Singer
CEO Hartford York

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